I think that is a major effect of having your past failures, continuously thrown back in your face.
It is, also, an effect of being an "only-child"...
You start to feel as if you are your parents only chance of having a successful offspring.
It motivates & stifles me..
(talk about a double-edged sword).
Disappointing those that I love is my biggest fear.
I do what I don't want to do or what I want to do in a different manner, trying to please them.
But, then, isn't that proverbial death.
Living for others confirms their existence and denies mine.
& so I have come to feel that i don't exist...
& yet, I overachieve to prove that my existence is not worthless in the eyes of others....
How do you decide to, metaphorically, exist (in your own right)?
Still Frozen.
Until Then...
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